Bam Margera

The first time i ever saw Bam, he had tits. He didn't show them off or anythind, but they were pretty easy to see through his baggyt-shirt, I remember watching himjust shit all over this mini-ramp and wondering, "Who the hell is this roly-poly fat kid blasting face-high frontside airs?" Then some one told me his name and that he was from West Chester, Pennsylvania. Then I started feeling bad for him, like, "It's bad enough that his name sucks , he's fat, and he's from West Chester. He'll never go anywhere in life." And I was right. He's still sitting back in West Chester messing around, only now he's the star of Jackass, one of the highest-paid skateboarders in the world, is working on a major motion picture and hangs out with rap stars. What a shame.

For the record tell everybody how you got the name Bam again. I got the name Bam from my grandpa. I was like three or something, just running in to walls being an idiot, and it was just like, bam, bam, bam, chill out bam, bam. So it was Bam Bam forever, and then when I reached 5th grade everone called me Bam even my teachers and shit. Do you even remember what your real name is? Yeah its Brandon. Nobody ever calls me that though. Would you get pissed off if they started calling you that? No I don't care. And why don't you tell everbody what it feels like to be confused for a little girl when you were growing up. What do you mean? I heard that looked like a girl when you were little. Oh did I? No, I never had long hair. Maybe when I was like two or something. But your sure that you weren't liek nine or ten and had long hair? No I never had long hair. Maybe I just looked like a girl with short hair. What's the most expencive house inWest Chester? Yeah, I just bought a new one right outside of West Chester in Glen Mills. That was 1,000. My mom really liked it so I bought it for her, and I'm always on tour in California and stuff, it's pretty much her house. I just said I wanted a three-car garage and I wanted a the basement and two rooms upstairs. How big is the house? There's six rooms, and rhere is one big one. I'm probably gonna put a halfpipe in the back and just make it a fucked up film house, like put trampolines and pools and diving boards off the top of the roof and make it complete madness. So you finally started drinking? Yeah, finally, I got so pissed at my ex-girlfriend, that was the first reason why. Why what happened? She got fingered at the beachby some random dude. I was like three hours away in Ocean City, Maryland, and I'm like, "What the fuck, man?" I'm like "Fuck it I'm gonna get hammered because I'm so mad." How did you find out? She told me. I was on tour, in some ramdom toy machine tour in chicago, and she was like telling me how much she loved me and how much fun were going to have caue it was senior week andshit and i was like "Chill out. I'll be there two days, and then I just decided to go up there without calling her